Life With A Baby is turning 10.  To celebrate, we are excited to share with you insights from 10 different Moms, answering 10 questions honestly.

Leigh D.

Leigh lives in beautiful Muskoka with her husband, two daughters, and a mini dachshund.  She is currently on maternity leave with her almost 8 month old.  When she’s not chasing after two tiny humans, Leigh keeps busy with her creative outlets: baking (Comfort Bakeshop), jewellery (Leigh Frances Jewellery), and blogging (Bad Moms Canada).

1. How would you describe yourself before having a baby?
I would say that I was more relaxed and carefree before having a baby.  Definitely more selfish, in the sense that I could just do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted (no schedule).  Sometimes the responsibility that comes along with parenting can be overwhelming. 

2. How would you describe yourself after having a baby?
After having a baby, I’m a lot more tired (aren’t we all?!).  Parenting can be exhausting.  On a positive note, I’ve become a lot better at multi-tasking and juggling more things than I thought I could handle.   

3. What is one thing you miss about your pre-baby life?
I miss being more carefree and spontaneous.  Last-minute road trips or going out for dinner still happen with children, it just requires more planning or arranging childcare.  Waking up whenever I want, going where I want – basically anything that just requires worrying about myself is something that I miss sometimes.  Life was definitely easier/simpler before children.

4. What is one thing you wish someone prepared you for when it comes to Motherhood?
Honestly, I’m not sure if you can truly be prepared for Motherhood.  For me, it was such a difficult transition that I wasn’t expecting, and I don’t think that anyone could have prepared me for that.  Motherhood can be strange - no one really knows how being a Mother will change them, until they become one.  

5. How has Motherhood changed you?

I’ve always been a very empathetic person, and Motherhood has made me even more so.  I feel like Motherhood is the great equalizer among women.  At the end of the day, I think everyone is just trying to do their best, to be the best Mom they can be.  I’ve become more supportive of all Mothers that I meet.  It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had, and also the most rewarding.

6. Do you feel like you have “balance” in your life and why?
This is a tough one to answer.  Overall, I do feel like I have balance in my life; however, I don’t always feel this way on a daily basis.  I always say, “I’ve got some of my $h*t together, some of the time”.  Let me explain.  Some days, it’s hard to feel like you’ve had enough time to do all of the things that you want or need to do (e.g., get enough sleep, eat healthfully, exercise, play with your kids, carve out quality time with your partner, etc.).  Other days, you feel like a champion if you’ve put away the laundry!  It really depends on the day.  For me, I need to remind myself that it’s impossible to do all the things, all the time, in a single day.  It’s definitely challenging to achieve that balance.  Overall, if you prioritize spending time on things that are important to you, or on things that make you happy, then you can feel balanced.

7. What helped get you through the postpartum transition into Motherhood?

Having a supportive “village” - partner, family and friends, and a wonderful team of professionals (midwives and my family doctor) helped me through the postpartum transition.  I experienced Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Anxiety following the birth of both of my children, with varying symptoms and severity each time.  The first time, I was not myself at all, so I wasn’t easily able to identify that I needed help.  I really relied on those closest to me to advocate for me and get me the help I needed.  The second time, I could feel myself slipping and I knew that I needed to get help.  I was really honest with myself and those around me, and it allowed me to get help sooner than later.  Having people in your life that you can be yourself with really helps.  I’m lucky to have amazing friends and family that would regularly check in with me, and ask me the tough questions (e.g., how is your mental health?). 

8. Motherhood is hard. What gets you through each day, day after day?
Motherhood IS hard!  I think it can be hard for all Mothers, whether we like to admit it or not.  Knowing that I’m never alone, that we all struggle in our own ways, is something that helps me get through the tough days.  Having fellow mom friends that you can be honest with is one of the most important things for me.  Motherhood is like a rollercoaster, with lots of ups and downs.  Just like anything else in life.  When you’re having a tough moment or a tough day, knowing that it will pass helps to keep things in perspective.  Along with all the hard moments of Motherhood, there are so many wonderful moments too.

9. What makes you grateful about motherhood?
I feel really fortunate to have two healthy children.  Seeing their smiles, and the wonderful, unique qualities and personalities that they each have makes me so happy.  Children are the best teachers, so I feel grateful to have the experience of being a mother. 

 

10. What is one thing you would tell a new or expecting Mother?
This is what I always tell new or expecting Mothers: be patient with yourself during the “fourth trimester” (aka the first 3 months).  There will be really tough days, and you will get through them all.  You will figure it all out in time, so be gentle with yourself while you work through all of the challenges in the early days.  

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