Checking into Emerg with my now 4 year old was tough. She had been fighting what was obviously a stomach flu or a travel bug. Easy, right? Check into ER, get a few tests and some medication, check out, head home to continue on with life. If only it was that simple. Why? Well… it’s those darn triggers.

I sat in the waiting room of the Hospital, in the same area that houses the RSV clinic. TRIGGER.

They sent us into a screening room and advised that she would need to do some blood work and have an IV to bring her levels back up. TRIGGER.

The sound of the heart rate monitor, thermometer (of all things), the smell of the hand sanitizer. TRIGGER.

The sound of the hand wash stations and the paper towel ripping. TRIGGER.

Does it ever get any easier? Do the triggers ever go away? So far, in 4 years, the answer is not for me. We spent 91 days in the NICU when she was born. Of her 4 years of life, it’s still a large percentage of her life.  It is part of who she is. The NICU experience is part of who I am as a Parent and it has made a permanent imprint on my life. For the better? I’d say so.

I am also reminded of all of the Health Care Professionals past and present that are of have been in our lives that have helped along the way. For whom I will be ever so thankful.

Although these triggers bring up  the past emotion and pain, it also sparks some memories. First, First bath, First time she took a bottle, First time she wore clothes, removing the NG tube, Her Home Coming.  When I think about it with a fresh perspective and a positive attitude, she arrived in the world 3 months before expected, but I was also lucky to of gotten to know her 3 months sooner. When she came home, we had a bond. I knew her. She knew me.

When I sit down, cuddling her after the IV went in, comforting her and wiping away her tears, I’m reminded of all of the progress she has made since that moment she was born at 28 weeks.  She is strong enough to fight the nurse who had to put the IV in this time. I am a strong enough person now that I didn’t shed a tear, but stayed there strong for her.  She is a person full of life, personality and sassiness. That history has made her who she is today. It has made me who I am today. You can’t change the past, but you can look back at it and look at the progress. Look forward into the future of all the possibilities in their lives and be thankful that they are here with you now.

So here’s to the past that has molded us. To the present full of love and life. And to the future full of possibilities because, as we know #PreemiesAreAmazing.

#PreemiePowerCanada #PrematureBirth #Prematurity #Preemie