Our neighbourhood garbage day this week was a rather windy one. Every so often when this happens, I end up with pieces of recycling on my porch. Usually I just pick it up and put it in my own recycling bin for the following week’s pick up.

This week, while I picked up the pieces, I noticed a white piece of paper with blue ink on it. Clearly it was a hand written letter. I’m a normal human being, it piqued my curiosity, so I read the letter.

It was a letter from a mom around my neighbourhood regarding her child in another kindergarten class of the same school my daughter goes to, addressed to the teacher.

Without revealing too many details, this letter stated that her child was being “violated” and “abused” by another child, and that she demanded this said child be removed immediately, because this said child was a violator and abuser.

My first thought was: This is not a very nice letter.

My second thought was: Which kindergartener wakes up in the morning and think to themselves “I need to meet my quota of violating and abusing someone today!”?

Then a handful of other thoughts came flowing through my head. Was this a draft letter of the good copy, and that the good copy had already been delivered to the teacher via the child’s communication bag? Or was this the actual letter and was already sent to school and sent back with a response from the teacher via another letter? Or was this letter merely just a venting letter and was never meant to be seen by anyone at all?

First of all, my advice to this mom for future: don’t put letters like these in the recycling bin without shredding it. If you don’t have a shredder, rip it up and put it in the garbage bag so the likelihood of it being blown around is almost nil. If it had landed on another person’s porch, perhaps even, by chance, on the said child’s family porch, imagine the type of drama would happen.

Secondly to this mom, what’s going on through your head that you think another child at this age can have such an agenda, and that their life goal is to violate and abuse others? Some children are naturally aggressive, yes, I agree with that, but when they are this young, it’s up to us as parents to steer them the right way. I highly doubt they think the way we think at that age!

As a mother myself, I’m wary of the possibilities that my 2 girls might have difficulties handling potential future bullies. I understand where you are coming from, that you are trying to protect your child, but surely there must be a more diplomatic way to deal with the situation, no?

While reading this letter, my imagination gets the better of me. I picture this mom waiting for the other child’s mom on the school field, and confronting her. Then I envision a hair-pulling drama mamma fight. I know some of us are giggling at this, but it happens, more often than not. I have yet to witness one, but I know it happens, because I've heard about it, always after the fact, and thankfully, not at my school as of yet. I seem to be one of those oblivious and aloof people that always miss the boat on gossip, drama, and such. I used to frown and make a face and say “Awww, I miss the good stuff.” Nowadays, I realize it’s actually a great blessing in disguise.

Here’s the thing, should such drama ensue, how do you think our children would take it? Our children learn from us by mimicking our actions. Many a times I hear my daughter say something and I think “Where in the world did she learn that?” then minutes later, I catch myself doing the same thing. Our children are constantly watching.

This drama mamma fighting probably didn’t happen the way I had imagined it. But now, because I’ve seen the nasty letter, I can’t help but to look at this mom with a certain point-of-view. Considering my child and her child may very well be in the same grade (50/50 chance from the JK/SK class amalgamation), part of me can’t help but to be wary that one of these days my child would be in the same class with this child and they might become friends. What if they do, and for some reason my child has a disagreement with this child and somehow they end up smacking one another? Will I then be accused as the mother of a violator-abuser? Children get into fights, it’s normal, and they get over it pretty quickly if we steer them that way. As adults, we don’t necessarily need to get into fights right away. Before going into nuclear mode, let’s start with something more diplomatic and work together in finding a solution to the challenge. Communication is so important, even if you are not a fan of the child that's being aggressive towards yours. Just think for a moment, perhaps the other mom feels horrible and wants to work with you to overcome the challenge, but having you call them nasty names automatically puts them in defensive mode, reflex tells them to fight back, and they will.

But really, the point of this whole thing is, shred your stuff! :)